I remember the moment clearly — sitting there, hearing the words: Major Depressive Disorder. It didn’t feel real at first. A part of me felt numb. Another part felt seen for the very first time. I wasn’t just “lazy” or “overdramatic.” There was a name for what I was feeling. And that name came with both clarity and fear.

What I carried before the diagnosis

Before that day, I was carrying so much in silence. The constant sadness, the numb days, the suicidal thoughts I never wanted to admit out loud. I felt broken and invisible. I questioned why I couldn’t just be “normal” like everyone else around me. I thought maybe I was the problem.

Mixed emotions

Getting diagnosed wasn’t just a relief, it was also overwhelming. It forced me to confront everything I had tried to ignore. I started wondering what life would look like now, how people would treat me, and what it meant for my future. But deep down, I knew this was the first step toward healing.